The Demonic Toilet Seat
by Rwen
Summary: It's The Gangs Sixth year and The W. Twins have a surprise waiting for their favorate Icle Ronikins


Disclaimer: All characters etc. belong the brilliant J.K. Rowling!!! (So don't sue me…) 

It was breakfast in the Great Hall, and Ron was expecting a letter from his brothers, Fred and George, who had finished school at Hogwarts the year before. 

"I wonder what they'll send me this time…" he thought.

The previous times they had sent him; some Ton Tongue Toffees, a bag full of weird looking Every Flavored Beans that they hadn't eaten, and a new lollipop that they had invented, that made everything anyone tried to say come out: Fred or George. (Luckily Ron knew his brothers to well to actually _eat_ the lollipop. Instead he put it on Crabbe's table in potions class. Obviously Crabbe gobbled it down, and with the "Fred Fred, George George" that came out of his mouth; Ron, Harry, and Hermione couldn't stop from rolling on the floor with laughter {which, by the way, got them a serious detention.}) Now, Ron was not in a good mood, his intuition was telling him that something bad was coming up ahead. 

"You never know what those two are capable of", he told Harry who completely agreed.

All of the sudden, a pack of owls flew over the Great Hall, and started for their owners. Surprisingly, Pig came back empty handed.

"That's funny," thought Ron, "that's not like Fred and George- no wait, its exactly like them." And with that Ron forgot all about it and went on eating his breakfast. A moment later, there seemed to be a commotion at the Slytherin table. There were about 35-40 Slytherins standing around the front of the table.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked.

"There's only one way to find out" answered Ron. 

All three of them walked straight over to the Slytherin table to see for themselves. What they saw was this: Malfoy was looking at something amazedly and Crabbe and Goyle were letting out snorts of laughter.

They heard some Slytherins talking:

"It just flew in, just like that" -

-"I think I heard it say something"

-"How funny is that?!"

"THAT'S IT, WHATS GOING ON?!!!" Ron pushed all the Slytherins that were blocking him from seeing what was going on away, and stepped forward.

There was a toilet seat, a flying toilet seat, but that wasn't all, it spoke too, and what it said gave everyone a shock, especially:

"Ickle Ronniekins, having a good time in you sixth year? This is our surprise to you. 

Yes, yes, a toilet seat. You don't have to thank us, we know you love us. Oh and how's _Hermione? _Did you kk-k-iss-ssss…." Ron had cursed the toilet seat. That was enough embarrassment for the day in his opinion but the toilet seat was not destroyed, on the contrary, it was now up and angry! It turned to Malfoy thinking that he was the one who had cursed it. Malfoy's smile turned to a worried and frightened frown. The toilet seat jumped on Malfoy and started banging itself on his head. Malfoy gave a big scream: "GET - IT- OFF !!!!!!!!!" Crabbe, Goyle, and some other Slytherins tried to pull it off but most of them just stood there laughing. The laughter came to an end as soon as Snape decided to get involved. "What's going on here?! I think some detentions are in order!" Snape stopped for a moment to better process what he was seeing.

Malfoy had a toilet on his head.

"Professor! Professor! Get it OFF! Weasley did it, Professor!" Malfoy was gasping for breath as he said this, struggling desperately to relieve himself of the demonic toilet seat.

"What the-?" Snape turned to Ron. "Weasley! I'll deal with you later!" Snape zapped the toilet seat and it clattered off Malfoy's head onto the floor. But it didn't break. It just sat there. On the floor. 

Snape leaned over to inspect the offending object close-up and everyone held their breaths. A second passed and then another and then, suddenly-

The toilet seat snapped onto Snape's head!!! He leaped up screaming. The toilet seat seemed to be starving the way it wouldn't let go of Snape. This time, everyone was laughing, except for Malfoy who did NOT seem to find it very funny. He jumped on Ron, knocking him down so Ron gave him a punch and Malfoy went flying backwards knocking down Snape, who was struggling to get the toilet seat off of his head. 

Now Crabbe and Goyle were heading for Ron. He and Harry rolled up their sleeves and Hermione got out her wand, but before anything else could happen…

Dumbledore walked into the Great Hall.

All was quiet and still except for the sound of Snape banging his head around. Dumbledore looked at him and then turned to Ron with a knowing glance and a twinkle in his eye that seemed to say "It's ok." He waved his wand and with a flash of red light, the toilet seat shattered into thousands of tiny pieces. Snape's face became visible. He was fuming and panting for breath. 

"Headmaster Dumbledore, I'm not in a position to expel anyone from Hogwarts, but surely, had you experienced what I have just experienced you would expel the student responsible for this, this ridiculous and sorry attempt at a joke!" He turned towards Ron with fire in his eyes.

"I'm afraid that cannot be done, for those responsible for this-" Dumbledore's mouth twitched, "-practical joke, no longer attend this school. It would not be fair to blame someone else for this- event." Dumbledore's mouth twitched yet again.

Ron gave a sigh of relief.

"Now, everyone should go back to their tables and continue this fine breakfast."

The crowd dispersed. Harry, Ron and Hermione went back to their table. Ron couldn't get over what had just happened.

"That was absolutely horrifying! I'm going to kill Fred and George when I get my hands on them!"

"But you have to admit," Harry said with a sideways glance at Ron, "seeing Snape with a toilet on his head was definitely worth the trouble!"

"Well yeah. I guess you're right. That's right up there with Malfoy the Amazing Bouncing Ferret! The twins will be pleased!" 

They all laughed as Ron stacked seven pancakes on his plate.

It was just another ordinary breakfast in the Great Hall of Hogwarts.

A.NJ This was my first fanfiction. I hope you all liked it.

A special thanks to my sister RosieG for correcting my spelling and grammar (which I am horrible at.) R/R!!!!! THANX!!! 


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